Could this paragraph be divided into at least two smaller paragraphs? Leave a comment to address this question and explain your position.
“At the Red Cross Hospital, Miss Sasaki was put under the care of Dr. Sasaki. Now, a month after the explosion, something like order had been reestablished in the hospital; which is to say that the patients who still lay in the corridors at least had mats to sleep on and that the supply of medicines, which had given out in the first few days, had been replaced, though inadequately, by contributions from other cities. Dr. Sasaki, who had had one seventeen-hour sleep at his home on the third night, had ever since then rested only about six hours a night, on a mat at the hospital; he had lost twenty pounds from his very small body; he still wore the borrowed glasses.” (
4 comments:
I think this paragraph could be divided into three smaller paragraphs. This first smaller paragraph is “At the Red Cross Hospital, Miss Sasaki was put under the care of Dr. Sasaki.” This paragraph is talk about Miss Sasaki’s situation. The second smaller paragraph is “Now, a month after the explosion, something like order had been reestablished in the hospital; which is to say that the patients who still lay in the corridors at least had mats to sleep on and that the supply of medicines, which had given out in the first few days, had been replaced, though inadequately, by contributions from other cities.” This paragraph is talk about the hospital. The third paragraph is “Dr. Sasaki, who had had one seventeen-hour sleep at his home on the third night, had ever since then rested only about six hours a night, on a mat at the hospital; he had lost twenty pounds from his very small body; he still wore the borrowed glasses.” This paragraph is talk about Dr. Sasaki. Therefore, this paragraph could be divided into three smaller paragraphs.
I think this paragraph could be stayed in one paragraph because the paragraph is talking about what is happening in "the Red Cross Hospital. These sentences,"At the Red Cross Hospital, Miss Sasaki was put under the care of Dr. Sasaki," "something like order had been reestablished in the hospital" and "Dr. Sasaki, who had had one seventeen-hour sleep at his home on the third night, had ever since then rested only about six hours a night, on a mat at the hospital," show the author are writing about the hospital.
Revision:
At the Red Cross Hospital, Miss Sasaki was put under the care of Dr. Sasaki.
Now, a month after the explosion, something like order had been reestablished in the hospital; which is to say that the patients who still lay in the corridors at least had mats to sleep on and that the supply of medicines, which had given out in the first few days, had been replaced, though inadequately, by contributions from other cities.
Dr. Sasaki, who had had one seventeen-hour sleep at his home on the third night, had ever since then rested only about six hours a night, on a mat at the hospital; he had lost twenty pounds from his very small body; he still wore the borrowed glasses.
The original paragraph can divided into three paragraphs because the first paragraph talks the condition of Miss Sasaki in the hospital, the second paragraph focuses on the Red Cross Hospital, and the third paragraph talks about Dr. Sasaki. So, the paragraph can be three paragraphs.
I agreed with Zhiling zeng to the fact that this paragraph can break down into three paragraph, but I wonder can we put it into two paragraph. The first paragraph is "At the Red Cross Hospital, Miss Sasaki was put under the care of Dr. Sasaki.Dr. Sasaki, who had had one seventeen-hour sleep at his home on the third night, had ever since then rested only about six hours a night, on a mat at the hospital; he had lost twenty pounds from his very small body; he still wore the borrowed glasses." The second paragraph is "Now, a month after the explosion, something like order had been reestablished in the hospital; which is to say that the patients who still lay in the corridors at least had mats to sleep on and that the supply of medicines, which had given out in the first few days, had been replaced, though inadequately, by contributions from other cities."
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